A HOROSCOPE OF STYLE & SUBSTANCE
We predict the shifting star signs and evolving hemlines of the Fall season
(October 23–November 21)
In 2007, Hillary Clinton told David Letterman, “In my White House, we all know who wears the pantsuits.” Sensual Scorpio: while we get that you don’t feel quite yourself unless you’re flashing a slash of skin, perhaps this is a moment to reconsider your hard and soft options. As Ms. Clinton knew all too well, there’s something to be said for modesty, power dressing, and keeping your most important assets under wraps. Here’s the biggest lesson to put into practice this season: you’ll lure more bees—for a new hive, a love buzz, or some serious honey money—with a power suit. And, for once, that’s actually not your birthday suit.
(November 22–December 21)
"As I lay stretched upon the beach of Nice, I began to feel hatred for birds which flew back and forth across my blue sky, cloudless sky, because they tried to bore holes in my greatest and most beautiful work." French painter Yves Klein knew the allure of a transcendental hue, and he was just crazy enough to think the sky belonged only to him. Similarly, the Sagittarian state of mind this season is geared toward epic flights of fancy.
Give in, go forth, and travel—by train, brain, or camel—and let your newfound wanderlust inspire a new fall mindset. Just make sure to keep things in perspective, and take a page from Klein’s color and style handbook: keep your palette to deep blues (with maybe a touch of purple), and dress in elegant, Yves-appropriate tailored looks. Eclectic outfits might be fun to hang out with, but they are not your real friends. season is geared toward epic flights of fancy.
(December 22–January 19)
“You’ll see I wear only gray or blue suits,” quoth Barack Obama in Vanity Fair. “I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.” Capricorn, this fall it's time to take a page out of Leo's presidential agenda. It's time to stand boldly in the spotlight—and not waste any time getting there. While all the other little celestial grasshoppers sang this summer, you Capricorns put in Oval Office–style hours—and the proof is in your double-stuffed piggy bank. Since you already think that you’re the commander-in-chief, maybe it’s time to go the full Obama and invest in a smart, slightly over-budget style choice—one you’ll consider your new no-brainer, everyday uniform. You’ll be amazed how much a well-played investment piece will complement your breezy new work schedule.
(January 20–February 18)
Avant-garde Austrian designer and gay rights activist Rudi Gernreich designed the breast-baring monokini swimsuit in 1964, forever making him head coach of fashion’s naughtiest swim team. While we don’t suggest donning quite such open-air looks this fall, it will pay for you to be slightly ahead of the curve in terms of personal style. You’ve worked so hard and come so far, and, unfortunately, the struggle is real—and really obvious in your current look. Our advice? Be brutally honest about the state of your somewhat ancient wardrobe. And then do like Rudi: look toward the future, cut away anything unnecessary, and show off the very best of what you have to offer.
(February 19–March 20)
“I don’t design clothes, I design dreams.” Sportswear savant Ralph Lauren might be a tad whimsical, but the man clearly knows how to translate his American dreams into serious bank. It’s time for you starving-artist Pisceans to follow suit. This fall, get inspired to trade in your rose-colored glasses for a money clip. Rather than chasing rainbows, the universe’s fish-fabulists need to leverage their extravagantly original ideas with a heaping dose of reality. If you keep your head on your shoulders and out of the clouds, this season could very well unite art and commerce in the most intriguing ways imaginable. But while you’re swimming with the current, always remember to dress the part of a dreamer: you’re at your best swathed in drapey, romantic looks.
(March 21–April 19)
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work,” said Thomas Edison, a man who knew a little something about getting ahead in life. Yes, look-at-me Aries, we all know that boring business suits—or, god forbid, overalls—do not take you to your fashion happy place. But, for now, take a cue from the master of electrical connections himself, and learn to take pleasure in dressing for the job. Edison said something else pretty smart: “There is no substitute for hard work.” There is, however, a reward for pressing your nose to the grindstone: you’ll be super liquid. Once you’re rolling in it, feel free to snatch up the spendiest and most outrageous fashion spectacles before anyone else. To the victor go the spoils!
(April 20–May 20)
The Ferragamos, Fendis, Missonis, and Versaces of the world have always known a simple truth: life is much more chic when you have an ultra-fashiony famiglia to count on. Something big is cooking for you, little bull, and it’s time to practice that inimitable Taurean finesse in family relations. Timed correctly, a well-laid family plan could unleash some very fashionable fruits, be it a baby, an investment, a new love—or simply a scorching, haute new look. A fashion dynasty is only as strong as its chicest member, so make sure you’re open—and appropriately dressed—for whatever possibilities might come your way. A dashing new suit or a devastating frock might be just the thing.
(May 21–June 20)
Twinsies looking for hot jobs should consider this their “What Would Coco Do?” moment. As the universe’s most fashionably versatile twins, we know you’re both a country mouse and a city mouse—just like the inimitable Coco Chanel, who loved a lazy summer getaway as much as the next girl. But when go-getter Coco’s holiday was over, she knew it was time to take her golden tan back to Paris and glam it up. This fall, Gemini, get thee to the city—any city will do—and channel a more modern Chanel with piles and piles of gold and platinum rings, bracelets, and chains (preferably draped on gorgeous white and yellow looks). If you dress to dazzle and impress, the offers will start pouring in.
(June 21–July 22)
“I want my models to be bigger, stronger, and taller than common mortals. I need superwomen and supermen.” This quote, by French designer Thierry Mugler, may initially strike you, sweet, moody little crab, as confrontational to your core. You love to hide (read: wallow) in the safety and comfort of your tattered and love-worn shell, and loathe making a spectacle of yourself. We hate to disturb what seems like a fabulous pity party, but honestly, it’s time for a change of perspective. Now that the elusive path to romance is clearly in view, you’re going to need to claw your way there in the tightest, shortest, most extroverted looks possible. Might we suggest a chic new exoskeleton in the form of a super-structured, ultra-bionic Mugler look?
(July 23–August 22)
In 1938, when Elsa Schiaparelli created the iconic “Tears” dress for her Circus collection, she used a trompe l’oeil print designed by Salvador Dali to mimic the look of torn animal flesh. Point being? You’re the ruler of the jungle, and it’s time to look—and act—like it. The fall is your time to prowl, preen, and roar, and the season’s pleasingly plump social calendar will give you plenty of opportunities to unleash your animal magnetism in work, play, and bed. A word of caution: in all your merrymaking and jungle-dominating, don’t forget to keep a keen eye on your enemies. If anything, take a cue from the legendary Schiap and—figuratively speaking, of course—wear their pretty skins on your back.
(August 23–September 22)
Leave it to the minimalist Swedes to perfectly understand your slightly insane lust for order, Virgo. Turn-of-the-century Swedish painter Anders Leonard Zorn created the now-renowned Zorn Palette. Using an extremely limited range of just four precious hues—yellow ochre, vermilion, ivory, and black—Zorn created masterful paintings. Early fall brings some heavy weather into the Virgo universe, in the form of major brother-sister and neighborhood drama. After these storms subside, welcome a zen moment by taking a cue from the most Spartan of Swedes. Create your own sartorial safe space by dressing in a restricted palette of soft, clean neutrals. Don’t buy new; simply cull your wardrobe to the core essentials. If a whole new look is the only way to get your chin up, splurge on one (only one!) fabulous floral.
(September 23–October 22)
Elizabeth, the Empress of Russia during the latter 18th century, changed gowns upwards of six times a day, and never wore the same look twice. (She owned well over 15,000 gowns, so this was a rather easy habit to maintain.) Librans possessed of similar modesty and restraint should cast off any well-worn (or, more likely, never-worn) wardrobe albatrosses and score some serious new fall jaw-droppers. Since this season offers a party schedule meant for serious social athletes only, Librans might also need to recruit a whole new crew of like-minded style soul mates. FYI, Empress Elizabeth made sure her courtiers were, like her, always dressed to impressive excess—her guards would stamp their gowns with special ink after they’d been worn, so that they couldn’t be worn again. If members of your court appear to be similarly marked for disposal, be as ruthless as the Empress. Send them—and their last season deadweight looks—packing.
Text based on astrological predictions by Erin Muir